I don’t remember the moment I decided I was going to make a film of the next seven weeks.
I wish I could because that would have been a great first ‘second’ to record. Instead, I started with a moment that I would probably rather forget. The infinite waste of time that is doing nothing when there is so much to do.
The couch, the TV, the washing, the table. A list of things to do that haven’t been done. If only I could record the feelings I had at the time. Would I be able to send a message to my future self that way? Too late.The television does it for me. “Everything is going to be fine. Breath slow” he said. And for a moment I think he speaks just to me and I decide to start again, recording one second a day for the next seven weeks. I can’t claim to be the innovator here. That accolade goes to a man called Ceasar. No, not that one. This one. Spelt differently but I can’t resist. He turned 30 and had an epiphany. A real one. One that changed his life forever. He decided to take a year off work to concentrate on something important. Nothing unusual there. Except this man decided that, in doing so, he would record a second of every day of that very important year. Perhaps it was in anticipation of the slideshow we’re promised as we shuffle off the coil. Maybe he just wanted a preview but what he saw changed the way he lived. Three years later, he still records a second of each day and intends to do so for the rest of his life. Making the promise to himself that the life he will lead will be one that he will want to see. That there was the part where I started paying attention.
I am constantly teased about my need to snap shot and sign post my life. An instagram here, a Facebook picture there. I tweet when the need arises and I have left plenty of evidence to find that I am here living this ever changing life. I make decisions every day that effect my future self and yet I have no record of the moments in between. I want that to change. To be able to recall with clarity these days that will inevitably change my life, as all days do.
It started well over a week ago. I have chosen the moments with no particular point of view other than my own. The decision to share them is only to avoid procrastination. A special skill that I have that will lead me to have no more than an infinite loop of want as a flash if I let it. As I write, a dozen moments have passed me by that I may wish to remember more of.
A group of hens on the tube, a man reading a book who hasn’t turned the page since Manor House, a woman with seven bags and a dog that thinks he’s people. Every day events for a commuter in London but with those days running low, will I really remember them come the future? It may only serve as a means to push me to do the things I promise myself I will do. So here it goes. 7 weeks. Starting now.